The Beauty in the Moment

“If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is no poverty and no indifferent place.” Rilke

Oftentimes, I find myself disenchanted with reality. Things usually don't work out the way I intended. I was feeling this way earlier today and I came across this Rilke quote. It completely changed my perspective. Then, I came across this one too... "Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us." Another paradigm shift:-) What if I could adopt these points of view? I would be grateful for the opportunities within challenges and aware of the beauty in each moment. I could let go of expectations that won't be met and embrace whatever I can learn from this moment. What could have been my worst day, could turn into the most amazing opportunity to help uncover something beautiful. Maybe, I could get out of my head and help someone else. I'm open to this. I'm open to the possibility of a better way.

Take refuge in truth.




Copyright© 2010 by Quandra T. McGrue

Chely Wright Quote

"I felt like there were two Gods: the one they told me about in church that I should fear, and the one that knew my shit, the one that I believe told me not to lie. When I was on my knees and said, 'Tell me what to do', God said, 'Tell the truth.'"

This is a quote from Chely Wright in the May 14, 2010 Entertainment Weekly interview where she's reflecting on her decision to come out about being a lesbian. I think it's inspiring. It's not easy being honest when the truth contradicts what the people around you want for you. It's strange that church is supposed to be a place where you can connect with your God, but it's more often a place where you learn to construct a better facade. Bravo to Chely for choosing to embrace truth.

Take refuge in truth.


Copyright© 2010 by Quandra T. McGrue

Is Your Genius with You Today? No? Create Anyway!

Have you ever felt hindered while trying to create? Hindered by your own fear that others will not understand or appreciate your art? If you are lacking motivation or hungry for a little inspiration, watch this video. This video might be the small push you need to overcome your creative block.

If you are like me, you have experienced praise for your art in the past. This lingers in the back of your mind. You feel pressure to live up to that hype. Relax. I know it is easier to say than to do, but I will say it again anyway. Relax. Breathe. Create without pressure.

Instead of ruminating on your own reputation, let go of the idea that you are a genius. Elizabeth Gilbert suggests we think of it another way. Every now and then when we create, we have a genius. Yes, we have a genius. Sometimes, our genius meets us and sometimes it does not. No matter what our genius decides to do, though, we choose to create. Write. Paint. Draw. Sew. Design. Build. Create. If your genius shows up, awesome. If not, create anyway!

Take refuge in truth.

Copyright© 2010 by Quandra T. McGrue

Letting Go of "Let it Go"

"Let it go" is a popular refrain these days. Instead of agonizing over the conversation I just had or dreading my upcoming meeting, I should "let it go". Let go of the distress. Choose not to suffer over every occurrence. I have found this to be difficult. Simply focusing on letting it go does not seem effective for me.

When I focus on letting it go, I start to feel frustration. So, while trying to let go of my suffering over what happened or what might happen, I compound it with frustration over not being able to let go of the suffering. Not good.

I decided to think of it in another way, and it's working for me so far. Instead of focusing on letting go. I focus on grabbing another emotional state. Imagine having an object in your hand. Then, imagine reaching for a second object and grabbing it. In the act of grabbing something else, I naturally let go of the first object. Simple.

Last week, after a bad conversation, I went to a friend's office and had a great conversation. I felt better. Yessss. Letting go of "let it go" works for me. If I'm feeling bad, I simply try to go do something that tends to make me feel good. It's a simple plan. If I'm feeling bad, I can go knit, play music, draw, paint, blog, eat, watch a movie, talk to a friend, work out, etc. There are so many activities I can grab to help me let go of my low emotional state.

If I can't physically get away from a situation to do something that might help me feel better, I can utilize my prefrontal cortex for all it's worth. We homo sapiens have the mental capacity to go places in our heads such that our minds react as though we did in fact experience those thoughts. When I'm physically stuck, I can still control my feelings by going to my "happy place" in my head. I can imagine sitting on a beautiful beach, for example, listening to the water slide along the sand. I felt the tension in my face release just typing that thought.

Let it go. Grab another emotion. Go to your happy place. How ever you label it, take care of your emotional state Do this for your sake but also for the sake of those with whom you interact. We'll all be better off for it.

Take refuge in truth.



Copyright© 2010 by Quandra T. McGrue

"It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person: Always do what you are afraid to do." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've done this for the past few years, and I don't regret it. I constantly attempt those things that frighten or intimidate me most. Sometimes I fail and other times I succeed, but I always learn from it. I always feel a little stronger just for having tried. The thrill of doing it despite my fear leaves me euphoric, no matter the outcome.

This makes me think of Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken". When I am an old lady reflecting on my life, I'll say this: "I shall be telling this with a sigh/Somewhere ages and ages hence:/Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--/I took the one less traveled by,/And that has made all the difference."

Take refuge in truth.

Copyright© 2010 by Quandra T. McGrue

My Favorite Poem of All Time!

Autobiography in Five Chapters by Portia Nelson

1) I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in. I am lost...I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again.

I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there. I still fall in...it's a habit.

My eyes are open; I know where I am; it is my fault.

I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

Wow. I love this poem so much. Isn't this how life is? We live and learn. Live and learn. Hopefully, in doing so, we learn to live better. Learn to live better. Gwendolyn Brooks offers the best definition of poetry (in my opinion). She says "poetry is life distilled". Awesome. Poets take our common experiences, find meaning in them, form them in beautiful language, and make them accessible to us stanza by stanza. I love poetry. I hope you're kind to yourself when you make mistakes. I hope you show yourself grace when you fall in the hole. Learn from it. Share what you've learned. Nothing but ignorance is lost in that.

Find refuge in truth.

Copyright© 2010 by Quandra T. McGrue

We Do Not Have to Dodge Bullets

Remember when Morpheus said that to Neo in Martix? Morpheus was trying to explain to Neo that he could not only move as fast as the agents but that when he truly realized his status as "the one" he would not have to bother running from the agents. Neo replied, "Are you trying to tell me I'll be able to dodge bullets?" Morpheus quipped, "I'm telling you when you are ready you won't have to".* Yesssss. I want that! I want that secure knowledge of who I am and what the bullets are. Morpheus understood that the bullets were manipulative constructs of the Matrix. He had transformative awareness and knowledge. This kind of knowledge seems to do more than just inform. It protects. Keeping with the Matrix parallel, I could say that kind of knowledge protects that which matters most. My sense of security.

I had a really stressful week at work. We had state testing this week and I am the co-coordinator for the testing materials. It is vitally important that we maintain the proper level of security and administer the appropriate tests to each student. The primary source of stress, however, came from the fact that I had to spend a solid week working very closely with a difficult person. Let's call her Carma.*** She exudes, to put it kindly, a poisonous personality so her presence requires tremendous focus and grace on my part. Challenging.

By Friday, I felt exhausted from all the effort I exercised showing grace to a brute. I felt bruised after being pelted by her incessant, thoughtless, slights. I started to feel the situation was so unfair. Here I am living with noble intentions to treat others with the dignity our common humanity deserves but others are not so thoughtful. How can I continue handling a thoughtless person with care and grace if there is no reciprocity to motivate my good behavior? Therein lies the rub.** I do not choose to handle others with care because they have earned it. My decision is not based on who they are; rather, my decision is based on who I have chosen to be.

Working so closely with a difficult personality this week tested my resolve to its limit. Being stretched to my limit can be an awesome opportunity to stretch into a deeper realm of wisdom though. What do I do when I reach my limit? I analyze (with honesty) what I am feeling and why I am feeling it. After such reflection, I usually find myself holding a bit more insight for living.

What insight did I gain from my painful work week? I gained a healthier perspective. My focus need not be on keeping others from doing what they ought not do nor should I agonize over whether I may have deserved ill treatment. My focus is best placed in the present moment. What is happening right now and how should I respond with grace and kindness? I cannot stop the bullets. They come. Settling into my identity, though, means I do not have to out run those bullets. I do not even have to dodge them. They do not penetrate me. I see them for what they are. My personal security and refuge is not permeable to the poor behavior of others. Nothing penetrates my mind or heart unless I allow it.

Carma's insensitive conversation and manipulative work ethic do not have to pelt me. Bruise me. Penetrate me in the least. I see the bullets for what they are: evidence of her unskillful living and low self worth. No one with high self worth and skillful living practices needs to belittle another. Mean-spirited conversation never comes from a place of secure power or peace.

I do not have to control the people I encounter. What a relief! Their bullets will come at me, but I see those bullets for what they are. Evidence of their insecurities. Like Neo, I do not have to dodge them. They do not penetrate me.

Find refuge in truth this week.




*This is a paraphrase.
**Hamlet.
***This name and scenario is slightly varied to protect the identity of this challenging personality. Well, really it's to protect me from this challenging personality. Carma sounds like Karma.


Copyright© 2010 by Quandra T. McGrue