Perceptions

I saw an interesting commercial years ago. The object of the advertisement is not what impressed my memory. I have no idea what it was advertising. In the commercial, a man wearing a nice white shirt was apparently cooking a special dinner. He had pots of food brewing, wine breathing, and a pesky cat scampering. The cat ran across the counter knocking over a pot of red sauce while the man was chopping veggies with a big knife. Red sauce stained the man's shirt and the cat. Just as this happened, the man's girlfriend came through the door and saw the man with a knife in his hand chasing their cat, both dripping with red stain. The girlfriend had a horrified look on her face because it appeared her boyfriend was trying to kill their cat. She entered the apartment just in time to form an untrue perception. Her perception, despite being untrue, was real to her.


This commercial made me think. This woman had reasonable evidence for her erroneous perception. Reality turned out to be quite the opposite though. Not only was her boyfriend not a psychotic cat killer, but he was sweet enough to have tried to surprise her with a home-cooked meal. This made me think about choices. In a seemingly tumultuous situation when I have reasonable evidence to suggest a problem is coming, I can choose to believe the situation is not as awful as the evidence suggests.



I create my own perception
I like this idea. In any situation, I can choose between two perceptions: one that pushes me toward my desire or one that hinders my progress. It is so easy to see the gloom, but with a little shift in consciousness I can learn to practice healthier perceptions. Actually, I could go so far as to say a so-called problem is only a problem if I decide to label it as such. What if I label it as something else? A teaching moment? Very Obama-esque. A life lesson? An opportunity to exercise new character muscles? I could come up with a number of new labels. Helpful labels. The exciting part is that my perception of any situation is my own creation. I am not a victim of circumstance. Rather, I am a creator of opportunities. If humans are made in the image of God and He is the ultimate creator, then we have a creative aptitude that we can nurture.



Recent opportunity
For about a week, I was having a weird problem with my stick shift. It would get stuck in park. In most cases, it took me about 15 seconds to get the stick out of park. In the back of my mind, the fear that it might be a prelude to an expensive problem tried to take root. Last night, I could not get my stick shift out of park. It literally took a full 20 minutes for me to finally get it out of park. Knowing little about cars, I feared it might be a transmission problem. A transmission problem sounded expensive. I made a conscious decision to develop a more helpful perception of the situation.


There is probably a relatively inexpensive solution to this problem, I thought to myself. I called NTB, the only mechanics I know in Austin so far, and I asked Aaron if the problem I was having sounded familiar. He gave me an answer full of mechanic jargon. I have no idea what he was talking about, but it sounded expensive. He used the word transmission a couple of times, but beyond that I do not know what he said. I acknowledged and released the fear his mechanic language inspired.


There is probably a relatively inexpensive solution to this problem and this is my opportunity to learn it, I re-affirmed to myself. As I struggled with my stuck stick shift, I meditated on what I was grateful for. I was not on my way anywhere important, so running late was not a concern. It was not dark. I was not abandoned in a remote area but relatively safe in a nice shopping center. I even considered taking a break from the shift situation to have an early dinner at the nearby Whole Foods but decided against it because I was still full from a big lunch. Gratitude meditations always soothe my concerns.


I finally got my stubborn stick shift out of park. I drove to NTB still affirming this was an opportunity to learn something helpful without spending an inordinate mechanic fee. Once I arrived, Aaron asked one of his mechanics, Dave, to follow me to my car so he could observe the problem. He started the car and the stick shift was stuck. He conducted some trickery I could not see from my angle and then easily shifted my car out of park. He pulled a rabbit out of my stick shift. Magical.


Dave said: "You know you can just slip your key into this hole, put it in neutral, start the car, and then your stick shift will work. You just need a new stick."


"Shit", I said, "Why couldn't Aaron tell me this over the phone 20 minutes ago?" Dave and I both laughed.


"It's not easy to explain that over the phone," Dave offered. "People get confused and..."


"No, I think I would have understood that," I interrupted. "Slip your key in the hole next to the shift. I could have handled that", Dave and I kept laughing.


I could have reacted to Dave's lesson a little better. I am not one for much profanity, but I have noticed I use it most often with mechanics. That aside, I was grateful for the outcome. I learned how to maneuver around the problem and it did not cost anything (just right for my budget).



Develop a healthy perception and see what happens...
In challenging situations, I choose to perceive it in a way that motivates me towards the future I want. I like the way Anthony Robbins put it once (I am paraphrasing) when you are managing a curve on a race track, do not stare at the wall you are trying to avoid crashing into. I did not want to buy a new car or spend too much money on repairs, so I developed a perception that took me to my desired future. I chose not to focus on what I did not want. This is not a surefire way to coax the cosmos into giving me whatever I want, but it motivates helpful behavior.


If I have a hopeless perception of reality, I will not be in a healthy enough state of mind to solve the so-called problem. When I choose a perception that makes room for the possibility that I can get what I want, it is like gently planting my mind in rich soil with plenty of water. I give my mind the chance to sprout good ideas. Had I wallowed in the frustration of my stick shift woes, then I would have called my roadside assistance representative and had the car towed home while agonizing over how expensive the repairs would probably be. I would have missed the opportunity to laugh with Dave while he showed me the ridiculously easy way to fix my stick.

• Her boyfriend was not a psychotic cat killer.
• My transmission was not broken.
• Any unemployed person can find or create the work of their dreams despite the recession.
• My vacation can be fun even if it rains.
• My dreams want to find me; they are just waiting for me to ask the right questions.
• The list of positive perceptions is endless...

Why not believe these and other healthy perceptions of reality? When faced with a potential problem, why not label it with a healthier perception and see what happens?

Copyright (c) 2009 by Quandra T. McGrue